Friday, Nov. 13 is GSA Day for Gender Justice. It is a day that was created by the National Trans Youth council to uplift and highlight the movement for a world free of gender-based violence, with a focus on the lives and realities of young transgender and non-binary people, according to the web site ourtranstruth.org.
GSA stands for Gay Straight Alliance. Nacogdoches Pride is a club at NHS that is part of GSA. The club started in 2017 and is co-sponsored by Ashley Chandler and Siobhan Cook.
Hunter Curbow is club president.
In recognition of GSA Day for Gender Justice, Hunter conducted interviews to educate the public about issues relevant to this special day. He will continue to interview students and feature their stories on his personal Instagram account, @my_story_my_life_01
Tristan Hathorn-Wilkins,
Licensed Professional Counselor at Milstead Counseling
We recently learned that your counseling agency is starting a process group for transgender teens. How do you hope the new group helps, and how can people sign up?
The group will run from 4:30-5:30 pm on the first Thursday of every month in suite #105 of the 118 E. Hospital St. (the old Mize department store building). It will cost $30 per person per session, though anyone who cannot afford that is encouraged to contact me, as we do not want someone to go without care for financial reasons. To sign up or for more information, email Tristan@MilsteadCounseling.com.
I hope the group will help transgender teens feel less alone, find comfort in having a safe space in which to discuss their struggles, connect with peers facing similar issues, and gain valuable insights and knowledge about their own situations and transgender issues in general.
(There is a group for teens, and a separate support group for parents led by Katie Tarvin, Licensed Master Social Worker. It will be held in suite #300, and is also $30 a session.)
What are the unique needs of teens in the LGBTQ community, and how can adults (counselors, teachers, families, etc), help meet those needs?
LGBTQ+ teens face all the same difficulties as their straight and cisgender (non-trans) peers, but deal with additional challenges primarily concerned with feeling isolated, different, and stigmatized. They are less likely than straight cis kids to receive support and understanding from family, peers, teachers, administrators, clergy, and employers, and may expend a great deal of effort hiding who they really are in some or all areas of their lives.
LGBTQ+ teens may also have difficulty accepting their own identities internally, particularly if their families and/or religion express sentiments/ideas that are homophobic, transphobic, biphobic, or just very focused on cisheteronormativity and binaries. When you grow up hearing strong messages, whether explicit or implicit, that some aspect of you is wrong, it is usually very difficult not to believe that on some level. This leads to greatly increased risk of anxiety, depression, and unhealthy coping, such as severe dissociation, eating disorders, substance abuse, self-injury, and suicidal ideation. They are also at increased risk for being abused sexually as well as physically and emotionally, and for feeling stuck in unhealthy relationships because they feel they have nowhere else to turn.
NHS, in recent years, has allowed Dragon Pride to meet on campus as a means of supporting LGBTQ students. What are your thoughts about how an organization like this can help teens?
On-campus support groups can serve many the same purposes as an outside support group like mine. Additional benefits of on-campus groups are that they show kids they have support from teachers and administrators, and they give the LGBTQ+ community more visibility, both to members of the community and to those who may not have known they knew anyone included in the community.
If parents or adults have questions about LGBTQ issues, how can they get answers and information?
The list of available online resources is extensive, including but not limited to PFLAG.org, TheTrevorProject.org, TXTransKids.org, transtexas.org, ACLUTX.org… most of these pages also have resource pages to refer to.
Can you please explain in simple terms the concept of pronouns and gender identification (like what non-binary means, etc.)?\
Pronouns are words used to refer to nouns (people, places, and things), including people’s names. For gender reference purposes in English, only third-person pronouns indicate gender, and most people use either “he/him/his” or “she/her/hers.” In the case of 2 or more people (“My friends said they were going”) or a person of unknown gender (“Someone left their book here”), “they/them/theirs” is used. Some people also use “they/them/theirs” to apply themselves, usually because they do not feel “he/him/his” or “she/her/hers” accurately represents how they feel about their gender. There are many overlapping categories of people who may feel this way, and I encourage people to look up “transgender umbrella” to get an idea of the rainbow of gender identities. “Neo-pronouns” is another good term to look up if you’re interested in pronouns and gender identities.
Understanding non-binary gender requires that you understand that gender exists on a spectrum, ranging from extremely masculine to extremely feminine. Masculinity, femininity, and gender coding in general are very complex and fluid, but for simplicity’s sake, just think of them as black and white. Most people, going about their lives in jeans and t-shirts, not worrying much about gender, could be categorized as dark or light gray. Non-binary people recognize themselves as falling into a shade of gray that they do not see fit to just call black or white. Non-binary people may or may not appear androgynous, identify as transgender, or use “they/them/theirs.”
Can you explain what the letters in LGBTQ+ mean?
Lesbian (women sexually attracted to women), Gay (men sexually attracted to men), Bisexual (anyone sexually attracted to both men and women), Transgender (people whose gender as they themselves understand it does not match the gender assigned to them at birth), Queer (an umbrella term to cover many sexual and gender identities), + (including Intersex (those whose physical, genetic, and/or hormonal sex characteristics do not match society’s definition of a man or a woman), Pansexual (those sexually attracted to people of any gender), Asexual (people who do not experience sexual attraction to anyone), Demi-sexual (people who only experience sexual attraction to people they are romantically attracted to or in love with)… the list goes on and on. It is also important to note that many people experience sexual attraction and romantic attraction differently; for example someone may be sexually attracted to no one or mostly to men but romantically attracted mostly to women, or any number of other arrangements.
Are there any other issues that you think students and a high school community should understand about the population and how to be supportive?
Just try to be a decent human being. As indicated in previous answers, there are many different ways to experience and understand gender and sexuality. These may shift over time for a variety of reasons, and it’s important to recognize that people’s feelings and experiences are personal and valid. Just because you may not understand someone’s experiences and feelings, does not mean they are not worth respecting and trying to understand. Even if you don’t feel you have the time/energy/motivation to try to understand, respect is the least you can extend to a fellow human being, just treating them as you would anyone else, even if that just means leaving them alone. There is never a reason to be unkind to someone because of their gender or sexual orientation. If you are confused by someone, that confusion is not going to hurt you. Thinking and trying to understand someone is not going to hurt you. Someone else having rights does not take any of your rights away.
Dragon Pride Club Sponsor Mrs. Ashley Chandler
The rates of suicide, self-harm, victimization, and family rejection are much higher in LGBT teens than any other group. LGBT teen suicide rate is rivaled only by PTSD Soldiers. I felt it was important to sponsor this group because this may be the only safe and supportive place these kids have in life.
This group was created at the request of some LGBT students, and how could I say no to that! I think it’s important for this club to be here for many reasons, so I was actually happy when they asked me. I know we make a difference as teachers but I feel like the difference I make with Dragon Pride is even more impactful and important than what I teach.
I feel like we are helping other people/schools just by being here. We are also actively helping LHS start their club. I reached out to some friends and was connected to a teacher at LHS that has offered to sponsor their club and I cannot even explain how good that made me feel!
Dragon Pride Club Sponsor Siobhan Cooke
In 2017, I was approached by some students and Ms. Chandler to establish an LGBT club at NHS. As an out LGBT faculty member, I was excited to see that students were interested in creating a GSA. I can remember being at a high school that would not allow such a club, and as a student it felt like I wasn’t really a part of my school, that they didn’t support me. I don’t want students to feel like I did in high school, and I am proud to be a part of creating a campus that supports all students. Talking to alumni, this group has been on the minds and hearts of students for at least a decade, and I am so proud that this group of students were finally able to make it happen here.
Dragon Pride seeks to cultivate a safer space for LGBT students at Nacogdoches High School. At its core, this organization is about promoting a school environment where all students can feel welcomed. Not all of our students identify as LGBT, but we all share an investment in promoting that safe space. It takes allies, straight students and perhaps most importantly, allied faculty, who are committed to these issues to create the school we all want to be a part of. This organization exists to promote LGBT voices in our community, to foster space for activism, and raise awareness for issues relevant to the club.
School Principal Dr. Rom Crespo
We have a large, diverse group of students that come from all walks of life. All our students need to feel welcomed and appreciated here on our campus. We have to meet the needs of all of our students. All the students are my kids. I am their “school dad,” so I have to be willing to allow our kids to feel supported, to feel comfortable, and to feel safe here at the school. I want all our kids to want to be here. Whatever choices or ideas they may have, I want them to feel comfortable and accepted when they come to NHS. We need accepting values not only within the school walls, but also within the community. We are the only high school in this community, so the community is part of the school and the school is part of the community. We can all be one Dragon family. As we become more accepting, we’ll accomplish great success. I’ve said “yes” to as many things as I could since I’ve been here. My mantra for the staff is “let’s do what’s best for kids.”
NHS Librarian Sonja Schulz
Mrs. Shultz is the school librarian at Nacogdoches High School, and she supports all students by making the library a welcoming place for all, with book selections for all.
She says she doesn’t have any issues getting books for the library related to the LGBQT+ community.
“I’m proud to say we have had zero issues getting books, or anyone trying to censor what I purchase in any way,” she said.
Mrs. Shultz is very intentional on purchasing books for all of her students. That includes both non-fiction informational texts and digital resources. She also supplies fictional books.
“Everybody needs to see themselves in books,” she said. “Books provide both windows and mirrors.”
She said this gives people the opportunity to read about people who may not be the same as them, but readers will find they have way more similarities than differences.
“Everybody’s just human,” she said. Her number one goal for the library is to be there for students.
“I know that I’m here for books and technology,” she said. “But my main goal is to be here for the students.”
She said her job is really about the people and creating a space that is welcoming and joyful for them.
Mrs. Shultz has had people come out to her.
“Every situation is different,” she said.
It’s something she considers as an honor.
“I’m honored that someone is trusting me with information that makes them very vulnerable,” she said. “Especially from an East Texas town.”
Her advice is to be a listener and to love people with no judgement.
“If someone is opening up to you, they aren’t looking for advice,” she said. “They are looking for a listening ear and to see if you will still treat them the same, are they still important to you, or are they now invisible to you?”
She wants people to know that out of her 29 years working in a school environment, both as an educator and librarian, it has always been her belief that her job should be to always love people, and be there for people at all times.
“If that means putting a report on hold, or putting the book we’re processing on hold for a moment, we need to remember we are here for the people,” she said.
Student Perspectives
Sam is a freshman who attends Nacogdoches High School. They identify as non-binary, and go by the pronouns them/they.
They don’t really know when they identified as non-binary. They just really felt uncomfortable with certain things, whether it be someone calling them by the wrong pronouns or not being satisfied with things related to their outer appearance.
The first time they faced discrimination was with a close relative, who said, “You have to be a girl, you don’t get to just choose.”Then people began to question them on their sexuality. “What are you?” They said things and questions like this is what really starts to hurt deep down.
They find support at Dragon Pride, a club for LGBQT+ students attending NHS. “The people in Dragon Pride makes me feel comfortable, and it’s easy to talk to them,” Sam said.
Sam wants people to know that they aren’t weird for being non-binary, and that they are the same as everyone else.
Kendall Douglass
He feels like Dragon Pride is a good thing at NHS.
“Everybody should be open, and able to express themselves,” he said. “It doesn’t bother me, it shouldn’t bother anybody else.”
He’s also noticed students in the LGBTQ community have been more vibrant about who they are.
“Students who are in Dragon Pride should keep standing for what they believe in, and what they want,” he said.
Janae Edmondson
Janae Edmondson is a senior at Nacogdoches High School who identifies as straight and uses she/her pronouns.
She thinks it’s cool that NHS has a club for LGBQT+ students. Over the years, she has seen more people becoming involved.
“More people have been more comfortable than in the past, due to them having the support they need and someone to talk to,” she said.
Janae has the experience of having a friend go through the issues of keeping their identity a secret.
Her advice to those who have friends come out to them as LGBTQ: “Act normal and do not make them feel weird,” she said. “Help them and be
there for them to the best of your ability.”
“Alan” (a pseudonym)
“Alan” is a 17-year-old senior who currently attends Nacogdoches High School. He currently identifies as gay, and uses he/him pronouns. “Alan” is a pseudonym.
Alan said he faces discrimination in the workplace or when visiting family. Sometimes he is called hurtful names while walking in the hallways or hugging a friend at school.
The school he previously attended was less accepting than NHS, though.
“We had a protest at my old school because my principal denied a GSA for students who were out and getting bullied,” he said.
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